Thursday, December 23, 2010

"A Diva's Christmas Carol": a hip, unique spin on a Christmas classic


We all have our favorite holiday movies and TV specials. The standards: “A Christmas Story“; “It’s a Wonderful Life.” The funny/unique: “Elf“; “A Nightmare Before Christmas“; “Scrooged.” Old-school animated classics: Rudolph; Frosty; the Grinch; Charlie Brown. You can never go wrong with any of the above.

On the other hand, there are made-for-TV-movies where you can go very, very wrong. December is the month where regularly scheduled TV takes a holiday for the overabundance of cutesy, romantic, moral-learning movies that are sometimes so bad they’re good. You just have to look deep in your heart and lower your standards a bit to enjoy what they have to offer.

My favorite, “A Diva’s Christmas Carol,” isn’t the worst made-for-TV-movie out there, but it does have that cheese factor to it, and it follows in the footsteps of many before who have attempted to put a spin on the classic “Christmas Carol” story. But at least this one has great music: “Heartquake,” “Sleigh Bells,” and “Heart of Christmas.” You’ll be humming along in no time without even knowing it.

“A Diva’s Christmas Carol” — which premiered in 2000 on VH1 — stars none other than Ms. Vanessa Williams as Ebony, a cheap diva singer with an attitude who treats everyone around her like slaves. Ebony got her start in a group called Desire, popular in the ‘80s, with her two friends Marli Jacob (Chili, of TLC fame) and Terry Freeman (Stephanie Biddle). After Marli got in a car accident and died, Ebony went solo, taking all the rights to Desire’s music with her and leaving Terry to fend for herself.

Now in present day (2000) Ebony decides to hold a Christmas concert to benefit the homeless, while really just benefiting Ebony and her accountant, Ernie. And of course, this leaves all her crew upset, as well as her manager and former boyfriend, Bob Cratchett (Brian McNamara), who’s son Tim is very sick. Ebony, of course, could care less. As she states “Family is an accident at birth.” How touching.

And so begins the familiar pattern of three spirits come to visit her in the night to make Ebony realize that there is more to life than money.

The Ghost of Christmas Past, played wonderfully by Kathy Griffin — pre-numerous nose jobs and face lifts — who brings her sassy humor to the mix and doesn’t take crap from Ebony.

The Ghost of Christmas Present, aka Steve, is played by Duran Duran bassist John Taylor. He’s a drunken mess of a fool who loves his women, but all in good fun. He brings Ebony to her senses about what people think of her and how even she is getting scammed, by her accountant, just as she is scamming others. How does it feel now, Ebony?

And the Ghost of Christmas Future is a clever take on the word Future: a VH1 “Behind the Music” special, showing Ebony’s destructive path, which lead to her demise. Her gravestone is marked with “She Was the Wind Beneath Our Wings.” In which Ebony screams, “Not, Bette Midler!” Even then, all she can think about is herself.

We all know how things turn out. Ebony realizes how awful she is and makes a 180-degree turn for the better. She has the concert actually benefit the homeless. She brings Bob’s family to him to enjoy the concert and pays for Tim’s hospital expenses. She cleans up former bandmate Terry and they reunite on stage for a rendition of their ‘80s hit to a full-house crowd. And all is good.

What makes this a great take is the variety of actors who were so well cast and the witty dialogue that goes with it. From Williams — who brings out the classic mean-girl act, foreshadowing her later roles in “Ugly Betty” and “Desperate Housewives” — to Chili, who shows us she’s more than just a pop singer; she can be a heartfelt actress too.

It’s a fun, very unique spin on a Christmas classic, and you can view it on Christmas night at 9 p.m. on Lifetime. Give it a chance; like I said, you’ll be singing in no time.

Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays!

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